August 25, 2010

...forever young...

I started (well, continued) to pack your too small clothes away today -- I was sitting in your room, you were playing with your stuffed animals and we were listening to music.  "Forever Young" began playing and I swear I started choking up while folding your little tiny outfits that fit you only a few months ago. I can't believe how difficult it is to say goodbye to your little hat you wore home from the hospital, or your very first sleeper that used to be daddy's.  We're not throwing any of these away -- so I guess I can visit them in the basement whenever I feel nostalgic.
We're not forever young Seba -- you turned 6 months on August 20 -- with every milestone you hit I am reminded of how fast you will grow and how I will love you more and more while still missing this special time with you.  It's strange how a baby can make our mortality sink in.  Prior to your birth I never thought about life and death and the inevitable, but now I am fully aware of our life and my strong desire to watch you grow, change and mature into a beautiful young man -- which always makes me think of the endless possibilities that can halt or alter this conclusion -- my fear of leaving you or you leaving me is ever present in the back of my crazy mind.  I guess this is what highlights every little moment we have together -- "that it will never come again is what makes life so sweet" -- I love you my stinky, slinky, little superman -- I love you forever. And ever.

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