September 23, 2010

Wonderfully Worth It

Tonight Stefano and I had our second major (over 3 hrs) night out since the prince was born.  We went to see Rock of Ages and had a bite to eat afterwards.  

My thoughts were something like this.

Looking at me you can't tell I'm a mother.
But if you observed a while you'd see:

That under my eyes are a itty bit darker 
That my pony-tailed  hair is a little more tangled
That under my shirt is a drip of fullness
And under my pants lies a scar of labour

If you investigated a tiny bit deeper, you'd see:
That under my skin is a construction zone -- repairing, re-organizing, re-arranging within 
That under my emotionally wayward self  floats the self-esteemed, confident former me -- the woman Stefano tells me he always sees

If you take one last look you could never miss:
The expansion of my heart --- growing, ripening, maturing --- unselfishly, undividedly,  unconditionally... for Seba.  The prince that makes everything wonderfully worthwhile.  My sun and my moon.  My unexpected, spontaneous, radical love.  My eternal love.  I am vitally yours.
Every stinky poo, every messy spit-up, every pinch of my skin, every suck on my face, every sleepless night, every laundry load, every fear, every pain, every scar, .... every SINGLE moment WORTHWHILE for you my lovely prince -- for your smile, your giggle, your infectious love.  For you -- my sweet, sugary soul.

And so my night ends. I leave the red walls, the live band and the bill on the table.  I hurry to the only place I want to be -- at home tucking my stinky little prince into bed with Stefano, the man of my dreams -- my love, his father... our dreams... all become a reality.

My boys.

Goodnight my prince. mommy loves you.

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