March 14, 2011

a week of work didn't sink me... it only taught me the importance of treading water.

a friday night post.

seba gives these enormously gigantic kisses when you ask him for a "bacino" -- which is a "little kiss" in italian.  he understands the kiss part... but i think he confuses the whole size concept --
he's happy when i get home from work. so happy that if i disappear, if only for a second, he gets extremely unhappy.

it's a tug-of-war when i get home.  my desire to scoop him up and inhale his scent that i was missing all day vs. my longing to take a hot shower and jump into bed.
which wins? 
last night i came home. we ate together. bathed together. fell asleep together. both can win.
work might mean more time away from stinky, but it also means more quality time when we're together.  i find i'm more aware and appreciate the simple things like feeding him, and even yucky things like changing his diaper. when your time is limited, you have to take what you get and enjoy it to the fullest.  this explains my lack of blogging lately... or i should say my lack of decent blogging.  it's like they say about taking photos... if you spend most of your time behind a camera you might miss the important things that are in front of it.  the same goes for blogging.  i don't want to only write about life, i also want to live it. i want to soak every little second of stinky's childhood up. i don't just want to take little dips into our life together. i want to plunge face first into it. deeply. remembering it... not because it's written down or typed up... but because it's embedded, stamped, carbon copied into my memory. hopefully into his as well.  we were here. together.
of course i want to continue blogging about him. taking and posting his photos... but like everything in life.. i have to prioritize: and sadly blogging isn't number 1, 2, or even 3 on my list.  in fact, my own blogging is even lower on the scale then reading other bloggers' posts.  reading blogs is what calms me at the end of my day. it's what keeps my eyes open as i sing a lullaby to seba in the evenings.  living vicariously through other blogs... looking at beautiful photos of your babies, your houses, your DIY projects... journeying with you everyday ... reading about your experiences that seem to mirror my own... this is what keeps me engaged in our little community... makes me feel not so far off.
..for all the changes my online world might be making... i'm experiencing a million more changes in my offline world.  changes that make it well worth it.  

to the loves of my life: my first week back to work may have been challenging. but it did not sink me.  i did not drown.  it only taught me the importance of treading water. 
nothing can sink our ship. nothing.

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  1. I hope you manage to continue blogging. I enjoy reading your entries and looking at youre pics as much as you do other bloggers!

  2. Very well put! I agree that going back to work has made me enjoy the little things at home so much more. I find I'm much more engaged and focused in my time with my family now as I try to make the most of it.


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