June 26, 2011

when your child loses it in public... don't feel bad if you suddenly find yourself wanting to smother your little angel... apparently it's normal. and definitely.. don't be embarrassed and try to hide it... cause we all know what it's like... and if we don't, we will.

a sunday evening bike ride. just sebi and mommy.
we love Sebi's bike.
90% of the time -  stinks stayed on the bike.. happy go lucky .. glancing around as we passed neighbouring houses.
10% of the time - he made me carry him -- it was a LONG 10 percent.
the other 10% of the time -  he walked (thank god) and held my hand the whole way (shocking) as we stumbled back home.

i know the exact moment where bike-riding fun will turn into "i want to get off the bike and have you carry me .. if not, and you try to get me to walk i will refuse to hold your hand, scream and attempt to run away"
-- right as i approach the corner house.. i always think "oh so near, but yet so far" then i pray ... i actually pray.. that he forgets and rides all the way home... but NO.  never fails... we get to the corner house and his feet drop down and start dragging... he's off the bike and looking at me. OH HELL... i pick the boy up -- one handed -- pushing the stupid ass bike home. this is by no means a real reflection of my true feelings towards the bike.. (i feel bad calling it stupid.. it's not the bike's fault) ... i just can't help but want to throw it against a brick wall every time we reach that damn stupid corner house.

anyhow.. to make things even more interesting today.. as we walked past... there was a cute little family standing outside. cute until one of the little girls started screaming at the top of her lungs because the mom took her out of the bike seat to give her sister a ride... she was screaming like a madchild on drugs... seriously.. i felt bad for her mom as she removed the girl's hat .. and played with it in front of her face in what seemed to be attempt to actually cover her mouth with it, shutting her up, but trying not letting me notice... i felt guilty noticing... so i pretended not to see.
all i could think the whole time was: that will not be me.. that will not be me... that will not be me.... which slowly succumbed to the sad but true realization that yes, that will be me.. one day.. that. will. be. me.
”bensimon"
i guess we all go through it.  have these moments of chaos.  i'm currently in the quiet chaos moment. the i'm in denial that it will ever happen to me chaos moment. the "this is an isolated moment" moment.
oh the joy of parenthood. it never ends... so i promise myself to embrace every episode of it.
in fact my life right now seems to be a sitcom where i am a narrator, character, and viewer all at once.
fun.

ps. i know my bike incident is nothing compared to some other stories i've heard... but worry not.. i'm sure we'' get there one day... it's all part of growing up... and we have a lot of growing to do.

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