April 26, 2012


first trimester complete. baby is the size of i don't know what... a banana?  can't recall what those baby center emails used to say. maybe i should re-subscribe, no.. they were annoying and i stopped reading them after 12 weeks the first time.  why don't i just unsubscribe to emails that i no longer find interesting?  because i'm lazy to go to a site and click "unsubscribe". same reason i don't fill out questionnaires to win thousands of dollars worth in shopping sprees. moving along.  i'm going back in time here. come with me.  first trimester was difficult.  pregnancy was an unplanned plan.  we thought it would take a lot longer.  but we're happy with the way it turned out. a baby in winter a baby in summer. birthdays far enough apart to plan for each one separately.  plus summer baby hopefully means outdoor birthdays. i love.  the first sign of this pregnancy was a popped belly-button at 5 weeks.  it never actually went all the way in after the first one. second sign nausea. third sign two lines and we have a winner. this was one determined swimmer.  babies are such superheroes.  they have to be: they are the fastest and fittest swimmer out of about 300 million. they deserve life after that. they deserve a party! woohoo you made it, we knew you could do it and we love you already. fourth sign was people starting to observe a growing bump. fifth sign was a popped button off my jeans. sixth sign was a bra that was too small.  seba actually pointed and kissed my left breast while saying "baby mamma, baby" - he thinks the baby is in my left breast. enough said. my obgyn told me that with second pregnancies everything pops earlier. he wasn't lying. he also said you feel things sooner, and you may feel more tired this time round. somewhere in my warped mind i had assumed the second time would be easier? where did i get that idea?  this time is much heavier on me. i didn't have nausea with seba. i didn't crave sweets. my bump growth felt slower and the pains i feel now i didn't feel until at least 7 months first time.  sleeping is already difficult.  i only feel comfortable on my right side. and in the middle of the night i keep rolling onto my back which ends up making feel faint and nauseous... something about the boy cutting off our blood supply. i have insane cravings for sweets.  i actually keep a bag of gummy bears on my nightstand -- i don't even know the last time i ate a fucking gummy bear before now.  my emotions have been all over the place. i'm a pregnant mess.  i also look horrible.  stefano actually agreed with me the other day. i said: i look horrible. he said: not really, maybe just your hair. i said: it's okay, you can say my hair makes me look horrible. he said: ok it makes you look horrible. we laughed... but inside i cried a little. not because i look horrible, but more because i don't actually care that i look horrible. i can't believe i leave my house looking the way i do sometimes.  last pregnancy people smiled at me and made me feel warm and fuzzy. this time they will probably run away scared or do the quick glance and look away. note to self: get your hair done and all your worries will disappear... but you'll still be fat. you can deal. so much to do.. so much time to do it.  = procrastination. top of the list is re-do the boys' room -- so damn excited to say that! i see bunk-beds in my future. oh man i love bunk beds. i can't wait to take down those damn giraffe adhesives.. yes, the ones i was so in love with first time around. now i can't wait to literally rip their faces off. it will be therapeutic.  i'm imagining more muted and calm colours now. baby boy will sleep in the crib and big brother will sleep in his teepee. not sure how we'll work the floor bed this time since there's the fear of seba suffocating the infant with extreme hugs and headlocks.  we'll have to figure that one out.  for now everything's under control. or so it would seem.    and that's that. first trimester over and out. second should be smooth sailing....but **SPOILER ALERT** it isn't!  

abrupt ending. goodnight.


April 25, 2012

life and loves: a trip to the big apple

last month stefano and I took a solo trip to the big apple.  no strollers, no diapers, no seba.  just the two of us.  and it was fantastic.  we love seba, but it's said that a trip alone is mandatory in a relationship... and now i know why.
 i can't tell you how awesome it felt to walk the streets, weaving in and out of people without a four-wheel contraption in front of us. how great it felt to stay up late, eat when we felt like it ... and get a seat for two at a crowded restaurant. we took on the world - just stef and i.  it reminded me of how much fun we have together... how ridiculously suited we are for one another. just so great.
before we left stefano made a list of all the places/things he wanted to see.  our main goal was that we wanted to bite into the apple in true new york fashion -- on foot and in a hurry.  we stayed two days and rushed through the maze of a city like we were competitors on the amazing race. we didn't take that many photos... for me new york is something you have to see in person to experience. photos don't do it much justice.. you can't hear the taxi horns, you can't feel the millions of commuters brushing by, you can't smell the food truck vendors.  we decided to do our personal tour taking photos of just our feet, a street sign and a reminder of each spot.  we plan to eventually make a map of places we've visited using these photos. a sort of we were here collage.
as usual when you are in two.. the only photos you get of yourselves are awkward close-ups thanks to someone over-extending their arm or mirror shots. boom.
this photo was taken purely for my absolute love of these tiles. magnolia bakery has something more than cupcakes -- it has tiles... and i want them. can you imagine having tiles like this in your home? in love.
sold! a little something for baby boy.  
and then it rained.  of course. because what would our trip be without rain, ridiculous plastic-poncho rain jackets and a double-decker bus without a sheltered top?  i'm not going to lie -- it was fun and funny. this photo says it all.  needless to say we were super tourists!
a stop at central station. let's stand on the platform and pretend we're waiting for a train. ok. done. let's go.
9/11 tribute. beyond emotional. heart-wrenching. still.  baby prints tugged at my heart and demanded my tears. still so unbelievable.
we didn't visit museums.. or anything that required going indoors for longer than 5 minutes. we didn't shop. just walked and walked and walked. we're already planning a return visit for all of this. but for now we're satisfied with our little bite out of the apple -- hopefully it will keep us full until next time.

April 23, 2012

365 minutes with stinky: minute ninety-one

ok.. it's not an entire minute.. but his laugh is so worth listening to.
also, shortly after this video we had to stop seba from doing his favourite "run and jump on daddy stunt" because he started doing it to his friends at school. needless to say they fell over and cried and he couldn't understand why.

in other news.. i had stopped posting these videos because seba had deleted all my videos (or so i thought) -- but i just found a few of my favourites that i apparently locked! i'm smarter than i thought. whoopee!
ps. this is old as hell. it's from November.. the only reason I know is because Stefano is wearing his movember mustache.

April 19, 2012

boy oh BOY!

i'm pregnant!
like really, really pregnant. a whole 18 1/2 weeks.
we're pretty excited.


April 12, 2012


mommy, whe awe you mommy?! it's seba!
seba is TWO. i am so proud of the little man he's becoming.  but more than proud, i am so in love with the person that he is.  he makes my head spin (literally) ... and my heart skip beats.  he's my coolest friend. teaching me new things everyday .  making me laugh and smile. challenging me and bringing tears to my eyes.  i don't want to let him down. ever. big goal, huh?  huge goal.

and just because i don't want to forget, a list of seba-isms and other reflections of my boy:

* he loves to say "i do it" to any and everything.  whether he can do it or not -- he says " i do it" and we let him. always.
* he's obsessed with stools and brushing his teeth/washing his hands.  the killer combination --  a stool, a sink and a toothbrush -- this can keep him occupied for hours.  last night he woke up at 4am wanting to brush his teeth. who am i to stop him?
* hockey.  no further details required.
* he's fixated with planes, trains and automobiles. i always thought boys were only into these things because their parents encouraged it.. combined with the fact that almost all boy clothes have one of these three objects on them... but nope... it must be innate.  i have scientific proof. i have done nothing to introduce or encourage it and it still happened.  
* he loves letter sounds and numbers -- he's constantly pointing at letters and saying their sound... almost obsessively... so we hear: "aaaaaah," "caaaaaaa," "sssssssss," "eeeeeeeeh," "mmmmmm," (you get the point) all day long.  i take it as a sign that he's learning at school... even if he's running in circles all day long.
* he's stuck in a mommy phase right now.  i honestly have to run and hide to have a moment alone.  i love it and am frustrated by it all at once.  i mostly love it though... especially when he says "mommy, mommy, whe awe you mommy?"
* he sings! his current favourite is Frère Jacques -- we hear "DING DANG DONG" a million times a day.
* he hugs. oh how he hugs.  big, tight, all-encompassing hugs that fill your body with love.  he must hug and kiss us about 100 times a day. ps. "us" includes teacher and classmates.
* my favourite sentence so far is "i wuv you mommy" (of course) 

it's so damn strange how they go from saying a few words here and there to blurting out sentences.  they become these little people and they make sure we know it!  every time i think i can't imagine him growing and getting older he blasts me full force and knocks me over with a dose of reality. he will grow. he will change. he will eventually think my hugs and kisses are gross. oh god -- i'm crying.  it's a sign that i should end this here.  thanks for sharing in my very, very, very late birthday post.


April 3, 2012

life and loves: insta-love.

pssst! are you on instagram?  i've been on it for a while now, but only recently started getting into it.  like all things webbed and sticky it's time consuming and addictive. i'm completely addicted.  you can tell a lot about people from the photos they take: who they love, what they do, what interests they have.
here are some (read: too many) of my favourite insta-moments: as you can see i love seba and i like to eat. that's pretty much me in a insta-nutshell. very deep, i know.
ps. let's be insta-friends/stalkers!  my username is lovealcubo !

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