April 26, 2012

thursdayness

first trimester complete. baby is the size of i don't know what... a banana?  can't recall what those baby center emails used to say. maybe i should re-subscribe, no.. they were annoying and i stopped reading them after 12 weeks the first time.  why don't i just unsubscribe to emails that i no longer find interesting?  because i'm lazy to go to a site and click "unsubscribe". same reason i don't fill out questionnaires to win thousands of dollars worth in shopping sprees. moving along.  i'm going back in time here. come with me.  first trimester was difficult.  pregnancy was an unplanned plan.  we thought it would take a lot longer.  but we're happy with the way it turned out. a baby in winter a baby in summer. birthdays far enough apart to plan for each one separately.  plus summer baby hopefully means outdoor birthdays. i love.  the first sign of this pregnancy was a popped belly-button at 5 weeks.  it never actually went all the way in after the first one. second sign nausea. third sign two lines and we have a winner. this was one determined swimmer.  babies are such superheroes.  they have to be: they are the fastest and fittest swimmer out of about 300 million. they deserve life after that. they deserve a party! woohoo you made it, we knew you could do it and we love you already. fourth sign was people starting to observe a growing bump. fifth sign was a popped button off my jeans. sixth sign was a bra that was too small.  seba actually pointed and kissed my left breast while saying "baby mamma, baby" - he thinks the baby is in my left breast. enough said. my obgyn told me that with second pregnancies everything pops earlier. he wasn't lying. he also said you feel things sooner, and you may feel more tired this time round. somewhere in my warped mind i had assumed the second time would be easier? where did i get that idea?  this time is much heavier on me. i didn't have nausea with seba. i didn't crave sweets. my bump growth felt slower and the pains i feel now i didn't feel until at least 7 months first time.  sleeping is already difficult.  i only feel comfortable on my right side. and in the middle of the night i keep rolling onto my back which ends up making feel faint and nauseous... something about the boy cutting off our blood supply. i have insane cravings for sweets.  i actually keep a bag of gummy bears on my nightstand -- i don't even know the last time i ate a fucking gummy bear before now.  my emotions have been all over the place. i'm a pregnant mess.  i also look horrible.  stefano actually agreed with me the other day. i said: i look horrible. he said: not really, maybe just your hair. i said: it's okay, you can say my hair makes me look horrible. he said: ok it makes you look horrible. we laughed... but inside i cried a little. not because i look horrible, but more because i don't actually care that i look horrible. i can't believe i leave my house looking the way i do sometimes.  last pregnancy people smiled at me and made me feel warm and fuzzy. this time they will probably run away scared or do the quick glance and look away. note to self: get your hair done and all your worries will disappear... but you'll still be fat. you can deal. so much to do.. so much time to do it.  = procrastination. top of the list is re-do the boys' room -- so damn excited to say that! i see bunk-beds in my future. oh man i love bunk beds. i can't wait to take down those damn giraffe adhesives.. yes, the ones i was so in love with first time around. now i can't wait to literally rip their faces off. it will be therapeutic.  i'm imagining more muted and calm colours now. baby boy will sleep in the crib and big brother will sleep in his teepee. not sure how we'll work the floor bed this time since there's the fear of seba suffocating the infant with extreme hugs and headlocks.  we'll have to figure that one out.  for now everything's under control. or so it would seem.    and that's that. first trimester over and out. second should be smooth sailing....but **SPOILER ALERT** it isn't!  

abrupt ending. goodnight.

xxx
lisa

3 comments:

  1. My new years resolution this year was actually to unsubscribe to all the unwanted emails. It's a slow process. When I go to the cashier and they ask for my email I address I say "no thank you." They say "but you'll get 20% off!?" I say "no thank you." They look at me with a mix of confusion and hatred. As if withholding your email address is actually a crime...

    And clearly you're convinced that baby #2 is a boy. You don't actually know this, right? You didn't do some magical future test that saw a penis on your baby sized banana?

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  2. OK, three hours after writing my comment I remembered that you actually announced that you were 18 weeks like, three weeks ago. So it probably wasn't a magic future test, but rather a typical, not no terribly modern, ultrasound.

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    Replies
    1. bwahahahaha. you're too funny. i was about to reply the comment up there, but knew you'd figure it out! it was indeed an ultrasound -- and it's definitely a boy in there! seba's going to have a brother =)))) super-duper excited over here!

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