June 22, 2012

currently: trying to squeeze my pregnant butt into clothes that don't fit and other nonsensical musings

i don't know why i torture myself into trying clothes on that are clearly too tight. let's bust a button or two. i like living on the edge. oh, and seba is naked with a camera in hand. just another average day. seriously.

i'm currently making a human being -- isn't that enough?  Speaking of which I remember, as child, thinking we were all human beans... ha! it kinda makes sense though -- we all start out as these little eensy weensy beans that turn into full grown babies. honestly i am still in awe that there is a little person inside my belly -- the whole pregnancy - slash - having child inside womb bewilders me. craziness. i'm sure i'm making other less important things.. but i can't think of any of them right now. also, all this human bean making has melted me down into a puddle of tears mostly listening to sarah mcLachlan's i don't know how to let you go, adia, fallen, good enough -- oh how i miss listening to and soaking up strong female voices. sarah, jewel, the cranberries, jan arden, ani defranco let's re-connect. so good in the morning. soo good. 
i'm craving chocolate.  craving, finding, buying, devouring chocolate.  what's weird is that i've had a tub of ice cream in my freezer for two weeks now, and have not yet opened it.  my chocolate craving is very specific. it's a one-chocolate-at-a-time kinda craving.  i'm still hooked on reese peanut butter cups.. but i feel this relationship is nearing its end. the desire has faded.  it could be because i ate an entire bag of mini reese cups yesterday. now the thought of them makes me cringe, but want them at the same time? sick. i'm a sick, sick, preggo woman. eating chocolate covered peanut butter cups that due to extrreme heat are slightly melted and sticky all while writing LISTS. a million lists. do this. do that. do nothing. buy this. buy that. buy everything but what is listed.  lists are fantastic and suck all at once.  they place unnecessary expectations on me... expectations i can never fulfill. but i try. diligently to complete my lists. and if i don't i just erase the things i didn't complete and trick myself into believing i have succeeded. works like a charm every time.
i've been laughing a lot lately. laughing and crying. i'm clearly hormonal and nuts.  people make me laugh. they make me cry. they make me laugh to tears. i make myself laugh a lot as well. my thoughts. my actions. all very humorous lately. but the best laughs have been the real, deep, genuine ones that seba gives me. he just blabs non-stop now.. and every sentence that comes out of his little mouth gives me a smile, chuckle, or full laugh. the kid is clearly a comedian. i'd share some with you, but it wouldn't be as funny... i'd just be one of those parents that repeat proud stories of their child and you'd just be one of those people that listen, smiling politely, laughing when appropriate.. but just not getting it. so let's call it even and pretend the whole conversation already took place and we all agree my child is the funniest bean to ever live. yah.

so this was my post for randalin's currently link-up. click below to read what the others are up to.  or join in? do your own currenly post and link-up with randalin. i love these posts... mainly because they push me to write. period.  it's almost like being in school and having a concrete deadline. i feel guilty if i forget or don't participate. plus the categories release my poor over-worked brain from thinking more than it already does. too many thoughts not enough room. you should see my the notepad on my phone. just disgusting. anyhow click below.

Harvesting Kale


  1. I love your take on these posts. Your creative, stream of consciousness, circular way of writing is so fun to read. I can really appreciate good written quality in blogs, since it's something you don't find very often. Thanks for participating. Keep em coming.

    1. thank you wendy -- this is such a sweet comment =) i tend to blab as if no one is reading.. which is probably the case most of the time. i love these currently posts and will try my best to keep up with you ladies.

  2. I'm with Wendy. Your posts are so creative and well written.

    I also absolutely love that dress! You were probably the star of the show

    1. thank you so much! the dress is my favourite and only piece of clothing that my mother kept from the 70s. sadly -- i didn't actually end up wearing it. it was borderline too tight and i was afraid the zipper would bust open, which would have definitely made me the star of the show!


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