August 28, 2012

Currently: expiring sooner than the milk in my fridge


me @ 36 weeks via vicky starz photography

that's right. you know you've entered the final countdown when the milk in your fridge expires after your due date. that, and your psycho. which i am. pregzilla. nuts. gone. lost my mind and my hip bones. drowned in the lump that i've become. a well-rounded woman. searching for discrete corners in my house where i can inhale my chocolate chip cookies in privacy. without influencing my son to eat junk. without having to share.. i haven't confirmed my motive yet. i see him eating tuna sandwiches on whole grain while i hide behind the mixer, bending over and devouring soft, fresh, chocolate chip cookies. pregnancy has converted me into some kind of emotional eater. i still can't believe the three of us is soon to be the four of us. holy shit. FOUR. and so i eat. cookies. and whopper combos. on the upside, after eating all this crap... i get to end my day with fruit flavoured TUMS. so good. who knew? takes me way back to my hanna-barbera days. i smile. and a midst the moments of psychotic madness i try to remain happy. i think happy thoughts and fly peter pan style. does it work? most of the time. sometimes it helps to just dance and scream. laugh and cry. ignore the laundry and twirl with seba to elton john's tiny dancer on full volume. yes, we do.  dance and twirl ourselves dizzy. a kind of blurry fun. day in and day out. and there i am. happy. even when i'm grumpy. even when i'm tired and in pain. even when i don't know it. there is that spark of true happiness that never fades because i'm spinning.  in love. unbalanced. but safe. my boys won't let me fall. they won't even let me slip.


ps. thank you to my friend of all friends vicky for encouraging me to think happy and be happy. to take some maternity photos. and to eat waffles drenched in maple syrup. you made my day.

pps. thank you to stefano and seba -  the boys who completely drown my days in laughter. i always go to bed with over-smiled, tired cheeks because of you. sometimes as i close my eyes i catch a memory of a ridiculous thing said or done during the day and i giggle to sleep. it's so, so good. i love you.

xxx
lisa

Harvesting Kale


7 comments:

  1. beautiful post Lisa, and this picture is too cute. I can't believe how fast time goes, I'm sure you probably hear {and say} that alot. Pretty soon you'll have a new fresh little to make you smile too!

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    Replies
    1. thank you ana! time has just flown by this time -- it feels like i just told people i was pregnant, and now here i am waiting to pop!

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  2. "pregnancy has converted me into some kind of emotional eater" - Lisa, this is so true for me right now! I'm glad I'm not the only one... it better go away after the delivery. I just feel like I "deserve" the snacks and I'm getting big anyways.. so what the heck!.lol. Nice reading your posts again :)

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    Replies
    1. you are definitely not the only one! i have ZERO control over my eating habits right now. and when i try to limit myself it just makes me crave more and then i overindulge like no tomorrow! thanks for the sweet comment =)

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  3. Your posts always make me hungry!!! I love that you're unwilling to share with a toddler. Makes me laugh thinking of you hiding behind the mixer.

    I've missed you in the blogosphere!

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    Replies
    1. I'm a pig, what can I say. Seriously -- I really am. It's disgusting. Sometimes I make oatmeal for Seba and I... his is plain with bananas. Mine is loaded with maple syrup and bananas. I make myself sick!

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